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I’m getting close to the finish line with the first phase of the first draft of this musical. In order to see how it ends, I went back to the beginning.
I was actually surprised at how far I’ve veered from my original concept… One character became two, and the story is much more textured, complex, and rich for it.
I’ve mentioned before that I’m used to an outline, and how it’s taken me time to adjust without one… But what I’m realizing now is that because I didn’t have that outline, I was able jump off the precipice and learn how to fly, instead of just landing on a safety net.
Lyrics I wrote years ago for “Flying Without a Net” come to mind…
Flying without a net isn’t safe, not normally something I would dare.
Flying without a net isn’t safe, but frankly right now, I don’t care…
Flying without a net isn’t safe, but safety never got me anywhere.
Flying without a net isn’t safe, but that’s my last thought when I’m in mid-air!
I already feel my wings getting stronger.
–Sue
August 27th, 2008
I’m not sure why laundry is so inspiring… I’ve already written about it before… This time, it’s not our newly cleaned clothes, but what I heard on the way downstairs that intrigued me.
I heard someone’s radio blaring loudly… a song I didn’t recognize, but I made out a woman singing. Her tone was somewhat sad, but she was soldiering on. In that moment I asked myself, “Why isn’t that one of your songs from your new musical?”
It easily could have been, and still could be… And that’s what I needed to get the wheels turning again…
–Sue
August 26th, 2008
Recently, I baked a batch of chocolate chip cookies.
I couldn’t wait to bite right into them, right out of the oven. But they just didn’t taste right. I tried them later and they tasted great.
What happened? Easy… they needed time to cool, to set, and to complete their chemical reaction.
There’s a common misconception that writing happens when a writer sets pen to paper, but it usually involves a lot of thinking and planning, and more thinking until I even write a single word…
“Ideas need time to bake,” (an old friends used to say). They also need time to cool.
It was close to a week ago now that I came up with the “endings” for each of the characters remaining in the musical, but I wasn’t satisfied… Then last night I had an amazing epiphany and saw a possible scene, but I still wasn’t 100% sure.
Today I thought about it again and it fits perfectly.
I needed to not only let the idea bake, but also cool, to fully embrace it…
–Sue
August 12th, 2008
We have a framed jigsaw puzzle in our foyer. It’s at least 1,000 pieces, maybe more. I put it together years ago now, but I’m still proud of it… When I put it together, I wouldn’t let anyone in the house touch it… I wouldn’t let anyone else put a single piece with the rest — I wanted to do it on my own.
The scene is of a dusty road, lined with leaves and the trees they’ve fallen from… Leaves of gold, and red, and green, and brown litter the path and fill the sky. The trunks, deep browns and chalky white, line the picture from top to bottom, clustered and scattered haphazardly.
When the going “gets rough,” I sometimes look to the puzzle for inspiration, and as a reminder that as hard as things might seem, and even if the pieces don’t seem to fit, I’ll figure it out. But one can only get so inspired by inanimate objects, no matter how meaningful or lovely.
Earlier today, I called Scott at work, doubting if I’m doing the right thing… wondering if anyone will even care about this musical, wondering if I’m not just wasting my time and energy.
He was actually surprised, knowing how proud I was earlier in the week… and with a little bit of effort and insight, managed to bolster my fragile confidence…
And that’s the hardest part of all… It’s not the dialogue, or the lyrics… it’s not character development, or anything else… The hardest part is the DOUBT.
It’s inevitable… Go read any writer’s memoirs and doubt will be scribbled along most of the pages.
Thankfully, I’m blessed with a man in my life who challenges me to rise above it, and even managed to inspire a character’s monologue in the process.
They say writing is an exercise in solitude, and sometimes it does feel that way, but I prefer to know that no-one can go down this road alone, and I’m lucky Scott is willing to travel down this road with me…
–Sue
August 8th, 2008
This past April, we saw Sunday in the Park with George. I remember distinctly a scene where George is painting his masterwork and is standing so close to the canvas, you’d think he’d get paint smudged on his nose. He gets so engrossed with each dot being just so that the painting literally pulls him in… I whispered to my husband, Scott, “I get that way too sometimes.” Amazing what we see in the dark on stage in front of us!
(Sadly, George closed everyone off, including the love of his life, Dot. I’m lucky enough to have the support of my wonderful family and friends to reach out to me when I’m too far out at sea…)
Lately, I’ve been very wrapped up in my new musical… As I drove Dina home last night, I played a CD I burned with 9 of the 11 songs (there are a handful more that aren’t making the cut) for my new musical…
She listened whole-heartedly as she always does, and was impressed by a few of the songs… As we pulled into her building’s cul-de-sac, she told me she was leaving the CD with me, so I could listen to it as I’m driving around town…
I listened to it again as I drove home, and realized I really do have a show here! It’s far from finished, but I really saw it take shape… I’ve been so fixed on each scene and each song that I wasn’t seeing the bigger picture.
By stepping back a bit and taking it ALL in, I saw that I’m much further than I realized…
–Sue
August 6th, 2008
I’m still laughing over a scene I re-wrote two days ago… As one character is leaving, she doesn’t give much explanation. In fact, she was so vague, the other characters were unsure of what had just happened immediately before her hasty departure. Out of another character’s mouth, plain as day, the words in my journal say, “What was that?”
I can no longer tip-toe around this scene, that’s painfully obvious. But, I love that my characters are able to question, and that I’m able to question… Better now than later! There’s nothing worse than an audience paying good money to see something and then not believing a word of it.
Strangely, the humor I’m finding in all this is helping the task seem less daunting. Cross your fingers that third time’s a charm!
–Sue
August 1st, 2008
The Rhythm Of The Saints (originally released 10.16.90 and re-released 7.27.04) is easily one of Paul Simon’s seminal master works. I’ve been listening to it for years, and intend to keep doing so. It seems each time I approach it, I’m offered a new gift, a new kernel of truth to nibble on and ponder.
Today’s epiphany stemmed from a newfound understanding of the title track’s lyrics. The words are in English, plain as day, but today was the first time I realized how prudent Rhymin’ Simon’s advice is:
Reach in the darkness
A reach in the dark
Reach in the darkness
A reach in the dark
To overcome an obstacle or an enemy
To glide away from the razor or a knife
To overcome an obstacle or an enemy
To dominate the impossible in your life
As scared as I am right now, there is only one course of action, to keep reaching out… even if I feel like I’m groping in the dark, I’m still moving forward, and if I keep moving, I’ll eventually move past it…
Listen to him sing, you’ll hear the urgency, and you’ll hear the album’s movement — it’s like a train chugging along, picking up momentum as it moves through the mountains and the desert.
–Sue
July 29th, 2008
I’ve been avoiding it all week… telling everyone that I’m “stuck”… but, I knew what needed to happen, I was just avoiding the inevitable.
Yesterday, I chose to stop running from the reality that one of my characters is leaving. The thing is, I always planned on that, but I didn’t think it’d happen this early… and now I’m forced to imagine what might happen without her.
This may sound crazy, but it’s usually at this point when I end the story… In “Another Place In Time,” they decide to give each other a chance… Will they get married, who knows? I leave that for another story… In “A Distant Reflection,” mom and daughter leave their old apartment and sad memories behind. Do they make it, who knows, but they are giving it a shot… In “Chrysalis,” he dies, and she’s left to go it alone. Does she make the splash in the art world she’s been hoping for? Does she stay in that house? Don’t have a clue…
This is wonderful, but it’s crazy… It means I’m growing as an artist, but it means I don’t have the foggiest notion of how to get to the next level… Flying by the seat of my pants, I’m going on a wing and a prayer.
–Sue
July 24th, 2008
Yesterday, my lovely sister remarked that she’s heard the same story six times, and each time she hears it, the story, and even the inflections the teller uses, are EXACTLY the same. To say the man is talented is an understatement. My hats off to him…
As for me, there are many stories I tell over and over again — particularly the story of why I became a playwright. (The question is oftentimes worded differently, but it’s essentially the same question… Ask me in person and I’ll tell you.) I launched into the story once more yesterday, the words tumbling out of my mouth…
My sister has heard me tell the story a few times, and she took the opportunity to interject with a crucial detail I left out… In that moment of -dare I say, interruption- I realized I was telling it all wrong. Needless to say, I finished the story, but I started thinking about why I was so focused on telling the sad/negative part and neglecting to tell that positive part.
To make matters worse, I start the story with the sad tidbit… So I set that sad tone from the outset.
I’m sure I’m not the only one who’s done this, or had a realization like I had, but it stopped me in my tracks — the supposed “master storyteller” was ruining her own story… So, I’m going to leave out that tidbit from now on… It doesn’t do anything for the story — even if it did happen, even if it was true, it isn’t true for who I am right now.
I know the power of words, and the power of putting messages out into the universe. I will use that power more carefully from now on.
And so, my wonderful sister, thank you. Thank you for the fortuitous interruption, thank you for adding your two cents, and thank you for smiling through a story you’ve heard many times before (and will almost certainly hear many times in the future).
–Sue
July 17th, 2008
We saw Tracy Letts’ August:Osage County on Sunday. It was easy to see why it won 5 Tony Awards and the Pulitzer.
There have been volumes said and written about the play and the Broadway production… I’d like to comment on the audience reaction at our performance, namely the comments of a patron we walked out of the theatre with.
Somewhat sarcastically she said, “That was uplifting!” She went on to say, “I feel like I just stepped into someone else’s life, and now I want to leave.”
And I think that’s the best prize he could have gotten… She worked, like the rest of the audience did, to understand that world, those people… Letts didn’t make it easy… but we stayed there with him, though the tirades and the meltdowns — occasionally punctuated by wit. And I have to admit, as much as I got out of it, I was just as drained as she was… but I’m sure no where near how drained those actors were.
If it’s worth it, they’re willing to work for it. I love Broadway audiences!
–Sue
July 14th, 2008
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